Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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