I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
