Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize