i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
