I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
