i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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