Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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