Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize