hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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