It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
