My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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