like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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