he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
