Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize