is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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