You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
