and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
