It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
MIDGETS
????
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
