Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
