Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
