She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
