what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
