wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
