chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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