that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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