..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
