I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
