It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How's work?
Spinning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
