3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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