oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
