You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
