And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
