Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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