I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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