Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
