i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
