we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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