Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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