i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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