Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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