nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
After last night, I could never be a politician.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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