I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
