Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize