Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
