I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
