never play flip cup with pint glasses
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
