a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize