i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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