she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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