I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
