did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
