i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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