How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
