TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Randomize
