she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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