I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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