Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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