I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
