Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
