we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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