So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so let's talk penis.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
