what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
