i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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