matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He shit in the fireplace
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
