On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
