P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
