Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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