Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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