Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize