she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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