I'm gonna have a badass scar
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
