my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize