Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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