I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
