Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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