No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
