I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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