wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
